Shock and Awe1 is a war doctrine developed by Ullman and Wade that is best described as … “the use of overwhelming power, dominant battlefield awareness, dominant maneuvers, and spectacular displays of force to paralyze an adversary's perception of the battlefield and destroy its will to fight.”
In many ways…the last year or so of my journey seems like it has been impacted by a form of spiritual Shock and Awe. On the relational front…today marks the passing of one year since the dissolution of my 20+ year marriage. In terms of my journey…this came as what would have appeared to be a fork in the road where I was being forced to take the only open path that would be unfamiliar at best and a deep sense of loss and regret at worst. Other relationships became stressed to the point of near breakage, loss of family and friends seemed to move me further away from the well paved roads I had become accustomed to and onto narrower and pothole spotted paths.
Ministry has also been impacted by this Shock and Awe. After two decades of being actively involved in a church, with the last year and a half as the Pastor, I bid farewell to the church, as new leadership was necessary and a personal friend of mine was called as the church’s new minister. My journey moved onto uncharted one lane graveled paths. Followinge this transition, the ministry opportunities I was so assured and affirmed that existed and could use a “quality guy like me” seem to have ripened and been harvested by others…or have been camouflaged by the unfamiliar scenery I have traveled. And as I, and others on my behalf, continued to pray for answers to specific positions …the uncomfortable “no” has been the dominant prayerful reply.
With all that should have (and sometimes momentarily did) paralyzed me and destroyed my will to fight…I have experienced a greater form of Shock and Awe that is for me and not against me. In one of my first blogs, I recognized I had an “uncomfortable peace” along this journey…and through all its twists, turns, narrowing and terrain changes…one thing was constant…God had never left me nor forsaken me. I was constantly reminded of how much he loved me through his prayerful comforts during my laments. He's been faithful to travel this journey…even into the “desert”, where I felt the greatest aloneness and furthest away from His green pastures and still waters…God never abandoned me…his Word and Spirit comforted and guided me. He renewed and deepened friendships that have offered encouragement and prayer out of their own journey experiences. God also brought new people with incredible servant hearts, who have shared their lives and cared for me with the love of Father.
I know on my own… or even with strong encouragement, I would have never chosen many of the paths in this journey…but as I reflect…I recognize that it’s not as important to see how the journey has been changed by the paths…but how God has changed me by the journey down those paths. This is the start of a new year…I pray I will be open to the Shock and Awe only God can and willingly affords me…as I am blessed to continue this Faith Journey I find myself on!
1. Harlan K. Ullman and James P. Wade, Shock And Awe: Achieving Rapid Dominance (National Defense University, 1996), XXIV.
Paul, That is a very open, touching and honest entry. Even though we have drifted apart somewhat, especially seeing each other on regular basis, please know that you are in my families thoughts and in our prayers on a regular basis. I am positive that GOD has wonderful plans for you my friend. I am very thankful for our friendship and look forward to the next time we can share some time, thoughts and perhaps a meal. You are a very strong person with deep convictions (and opinions) and I am honored to be your friend. I wish you the best!!! DB
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